To be a parent, imparting wisdom without being…annoying. THAT is the challenge. My parents often failed, my wife and I often fail. Failure is built in, to a large extent, when a parent tries to make a moment “teachable.” Even the term “teachable moment” can lead to mock-nausea and vomiting in kids, teens, and young adults. Then there are the miraculous moments when life hands you annoyance-free life lessons on a silver platter–experiences so obviously powerful and valuable that offspring Read more »
Wealth Psychology Consulting
Help Others & Build Character
Helping other people is powerful. One of the main concerns of families I work with is how the financial success of the family will affect the rising generation. They are particularly concerned about the potential negative effects. I’ve worked with families for many years; family has been my area of focus in many realms. I’ve worked in different roles with some of the wealthiest and poorest families in America. I’ve consistently witnessed when families (regardless of their level of wealth) Read more »
LeBron, Wealth and Friendship
In the movie Trainwreck, Lebron James (playing himself) and Bill Hader (playing Dr. Aaron Conners) are in a scene having lunch together. When the check comes, Lebron suggests they split the check according to what they each ate. Aaron is shocked that LeBron James, a rich and wealthy basketballer, will not simply pick it up. LeBron’s response, “It is better for our friendship…Equals forever.” Watch the scene for yourself (only 50 seconds). While the movie is an Amy Schumer-written comedy, it hits on a serious point for wealth Read more »
Phoenix of Fatherhood
Last month’s blog, Wet Leaves and Humility , left me in a humiliated but (slightly) wiser position as a father and consultant to business and legacy wealth families. Please read it over if you have not (only takes a couple of minutes to read) – it sets the stage for this blog. In a nutshell, my last blog tells the story of how I thought I was doing something well and my son pointed out that he had a much better way to do Read more »
Wet Leaves and Humility
Stories of fatherhood can be embarrassing. They are often instructive. For me, this tale has been both. I’m a parent to sons ages 23 (Jeremy) and 20 (Matthew). The older and wiser they get, the less intelligent I seem to be. I’m getting used to it. We have a pool in our backyard and we closed it for winter in late September. It has a huge tarp over it. In NJ this time of year, there are lots of leaves. Read more »
NHL Hockey and Family Business Leadership
If you know me or have followed this blog for any amount of time, you’ll know I like to make parallels between family business and pro hockey and rock bands. Both have similarities to families and, I’d make the case, ARE families when at their best. Is blood connection necessary to be a family? FAMILY BEYOND BLOOD For most of history, family was primarily defined by blood connections. In more recent times, family has taken on a broader and dynamically Read more »
Toddlers and Wealth Stewardship
I’ve seen quite a bit in my work with families who share complex assets across generations (businesses, real estate, investments, trusts, foundations…) And I continue to find support, from families and professionals who serve them, for my ideas and creative strategies for developing stewards at the youngest of ages – before they are born and during the first few years of life. Before birth? Yes. Couples can clarify the meaning of wealth and how they hope it will serve future Read more »
Inheritor’s Wisdom
I was recently speaking to a client who received a significant amount of money from his parents upon graduation from college. He lived simply during college, starting in your average dorm and moving on to sharing an old house (without air conditioning or other upgrades) in a worn-down, high crime neighborhood with a bunch of friends. He also worked very hard earning degrees in a fine art and finance. He always struck me as humble and kind, frequently looking at Read more »
Resistance
Sigmund Freud was known for a lot of things. What most non-psychoanalysts are unaware of is his foundational idea of the importance of RESISTANCE – in psychotherapy and in life. Freud believed that as much as people seemed to be clear about what they wanted in life, they also often resisted getting it – usually in ways they were unaware of. Without getting lost in a rabbit hole of psychoanalytic theory, here is his basic premise: people are openly aware Read more »
Family Business South Dakota Style
On April 29th, I’ll be presenting at the Prairie Family Business Association’s 29th Annual Conference . I presented in 2015 and love the state of South Dakota and wish I could be there in person this year. The conference is a hybrid and I’ll be virtual. The good news is, wherever you may be located, you can join this great conference with excellent content and more than 400 attendees. I’ll be speaking about raising children in the context of a family business (FB) – a topic I’m Read more »