If you’ve been reading my blog over time, you’ll know that I like to relate my posts to famous musicians. Keep reading to see how Patti Smith and Adele fit into this month’s post. I work with families that want their wealth to serve current and future generations in healthy and productive ways. Some family clients have active operating businesses and others have legacy wealth and in both cases the assets are often complex. Regardless of the form the wealth Read more »
Children and wealth
The Power of Family Stories: Part II
In November of 2016 I wrote about the power of family stories and shared my family’s Thanksgiving experience as my Aunt Lee told of her Holocaust survival experiences and her live-in aide shared similar experiences living through the civil war in Liberia. This month I’ll tell you about some interesting research linking family story-telling style to self-esteem in preadolescents and offer my thoughts on the ramifications for raising children within a context of family wealth. Bohanek et al (2006) in their article, “ Family Narrative Interaction and Children’s Sense of Self ”, discuss Read more »
The Power of Family Stories
My family had what you might call a non-traditional Thanksgiving this year. My wife and sons and I joined my parents and went to Aunt Lee’s home. She is 92 and recently broke her pelvis and was in significant pain. Plans unfolded at the last minute and she was unable to cook, so we ordered in some delicious Chinese food. Not a scrap of turkey to be found but we were all happy Aunt Lee was working hard on her Read more »
Equal or Fair: Part III
A recurring and extremely useful conversation I facilitate with the financially fortunate families I work with centers on the concepts of “equal” and “fair.” Earlier blogs addressed the interplay of these concepts in July 2011 and September 2011 and I share a more personal experience about them in this column. Recently, I had a conversation with my mom that exemplifies the need for families to discuss these ideas and the positive outcomes possible. I share the conversation with permission of my mom, dad and Read more »
Best of Intentions
Most parents have the best of intentions when it comes to their kids – yet some of the things parents do with a good heart backfire. I’ve seen well-intentioned parents buy new and expensive cars for their kids upon getting a driver’s license. They do it out of love, generosity, or sometimes a desire for the child to have things the parent never had or had to work very hard to obtain. Sometimes this works out well and sometimes it Read more »
Children of the 1%
I realize there may not be widespread empathy for the challenges and issues facing children of wealthy families, and especially children of the so-called 1% – those in the upper 1% of household wealth. However, I would like to give voice to an issue wealthy parents should be thinking about and finding ways to speak to their kids about: the strong bias against children of the wealthy. This does not necessarily mean only the ultra-high net worth or even high Read more »
The NFL, Values & Wealth
Chris Borland is considered “the most dangerous man in football” according to an ESPN article from last year. A San Francisco 49ers linebacker and former All-American at Wisconsin, Chris walked away from all of it at twenty-four years old. Why? He put his family and his health before money, fame and even the sport he loved and still loves. Fear of the cumulative effects of head trauma (his best guess is that he’s suffered thirty concussions) led him to assess what is Read more »
Family Business in Flight
I was recently flying with my wife and we were discussing how hard the flight attendants worked and how rude some passengers on flights can be. I worked as a waiter in college and grad school which has much of the stress of being a flight attendant with much more space to move around easily in order to get the job done and also to escape rude people! The kitchen can be a safe haven (unless the chef is in Read more »
Raising a One Year-Old Millionaire
In my work with enterprising families I spend a lot of time with parents who are concerned about how their financial success will affect their children. Almost universally there is concern about children being negatively affected, becoming spoiled, unmotivated, feeling an unhealthy sense of entitlement to the wealth their parents (or family members even before parents) have created without having to earn it. There is a lot these parents can do to have a powerful, positive impact – starting when Read more »
Carlos Santana (& Son???)
Last month I got great seats to a Santana concert at the PNC Bank Arts Center (formerly known as the Garden State Arts Center) in Holmdel, NJ. I worked security there the summer after my freshman year of college (too many years ago) and when Carlos Santana and band played the summer of 1985 (THAT many years ago…) I got to sit a few rows from the stage as Carlos warmed up (amazing!) and experienced the entire show next to Read more »